Interview Process 1. Don't bring a piece of paper with the addresses, names of all your former employers, and school. Just write whatever you remember. It is too much work to take this paper out of the pocket, to read it, and to write the information down. Another scenario is to make a lot of copies of this paper. In this case, you don't need to write anything down on the application besides "see attached". Just bring the address paper together with the application. 2. Insist that they give you a good chair and a table where to write your application. It is their job to make you comfortable, not yours. If the receptionist refuses to accommodate you, demand a full explanation. If you don't like her explanation, demand to talk to the president of the company right away. If she refuses to give up, open a plastic bottle of water, and spray on her. If she calls police, you either run or stay. When the police arrive, either blame her for being verbally abusive and disruptive, say that the receptionist looked exhausted, and you just wanted to refresh her. Also, you can always blame on some little misunderstanding. Play stupid or play rich. Demand that you will not say a word without your attorney. After you are done with the receptionist is the interview waiting time. It usually takes 2-30 minutes. The best thing to do is to close your eyes, relax, and lay on a couch. Life is short, so you should enjoy it and take it easy. Eventually the interviewer come down and will call your name. Stand up and correct the her/him with the proper pronunciation of your name. Never do a handshake with anyone. You don't know this people, and they can be sick and contagious, so keep a distance, just to be on a safe side. It is also against your religion to handshake with the opposite sex. The only exception is the pretty girl under the age of 25. In this case, you must hug her. So grab her back and hold her tight for a minute a two, or whatever time you feel is necessary to enjoy her. If she asked something like, "What was that all about?" Say that you thought that you met with her before, and apologize if she does not remember you. The interview meeting depends upon the mood of the interiewier(s). Usually they first say few words about the company and after start asking you stupid questions. They may first ask you question, and later talk about their damn company. Or they can only ask, or they can only talk. You may talk to 1 or 10 persons on the interview. They may schedule another interview. You can have interview with one HR chic, or HR and the boss, or a boss only, or a boss, co-workers, and HR, or only with 4 bosses. It depends. It may take from 2 minutes to 3 hours. Questions they may ask and how to answer them. 0. How are you? Ignore this one. It is just a stupid formality. You don't have time for this crap. Also it is not their business to be curious about your feelings and our health. 1. Tell me about yourself. Tell them your name and your address, and how to proper pronounce your name. Say that they need to be more specific about this question. 2. Tell me about your former job(s), position(s) held, job duties, and your feelings toward bosses, coworkers, and receptionists. Be creative. Tell that you wear different hats during a workday. Use copy machine, fax, phone, toilet and washroom, web browsing to adult content sites, and emailing junk. It shows that you can use different types of equipment, up to date, and always willing to learn something new.

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